Stimming Is Regulation
Let’s just start with this: stimming isn’t weird. It’s not bad. And it’s definitely not something that needs to be “fixed.”
Stimming (short for self-stimulatory behavior) is a completely natural way that many neurodivergent folks regulate their nervous systems. And yet, it’s one of the first things people try to shut down. Whether it’s flapping hands, bouncing legs, tapping fingers, or repeating sounds, stimming often gets treated like a problem to be corrected instead of a tool that helps us stay grounded.
But stimming is regulation. It helps us cope, process, self-soothe, focus, and feel more in control when the world is loud, overwhelming, or just plain exhausting.
What Is Stimming?
Stimming refers to repetitive movements, sounds, or behaviors that help regulate the nervous system. These behaviors might look different from person to person, but they all serve a purpose: helping the body and brain feel better.
Some examples of stimming include:
Hand flapping
Rocking back and forth
Tapping feet or fingers
Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)
Spinning or jumping
Playing with textures
Clicking pens or chewing on things
Some people stim when they’re anxious or overstimulated. Others stim when they’re excited or trying to concentrate. Sometimes, people stim when they are happy or joyful.
Why Do Neurodivergent People Stim More?
Everyone stims to some extent. Ever twirled your hair? Tapped your foot during a meeting? Chewed your pen cap? That’s stimming. But neurodivergent folks, especially those with autism, ADHD, or sensory processing differences, often stim more often or more visibly.
That’s because our nervous systems are often running hotter than the average person’s. We take in more sensory input, process it differently, and experience emotions with more intensity. Stimming is one of the ways we deal with all that extra data.
For someone with ADHD, stimming might help release energy or stay focused. For someone with autism, it might help block out overwhelming input or make sense of emotional sensations. For both, it’s a way to self-regulate without relying on anyone else.
Stimming Is Not REALLY the Problem
Stimming isn’t the issue. The problem is how the world responds to it.
Too many neurodivergent folks, especially kids, are told to “sit still,” “stop fidgeting,” or “act normal.” Stimming gets labeled as disruptive, distracting, or socially inappropriate, and people get shamed or punished for doing something that helps them feel safe in their own body.
This is especially harmful when it comes from adults who are supposed to be helping—teachers, therapists, even parents. When you tell someone to stop stimming, what you're really saying is, “I care more about your appearance than your comfort.”
That’s repression.
When We Try to Hide Our Stimming
Many neurodivergent people end up masking their stims. They tuck their hands under their legs so they don’t flap. They bite their cheeks instead of using a stim toy. They learn to clench their muscles to stay still even when their body is screaming for movement.
But hiding stims comes at a cost. It builds up tension, anxiety, and emotional fatigue. And over time, it can lead to full-on burnout.
Let’s stop forcing people to choose between being accepted and being regulated.
Okay, But What If It’s Disruptive or Unsafe?
Fair question. Not all stims are safe or functional in every environment. Some might cause harm (like head banging or skin picking), and in those cases, the goal isn’t to stop stimming, it’s to redirect it to something safer.
If a stim is unsafe, we can offer alternative ways to meet the same need. A soft chew necklace instead of chewing fingers. A fidget spinner instead of punching walls. We want to support it in a way that works for that person.
The same goes for public settings. If a stim is disruptive in class or work, help the person find a more discreet or context-friendly option, but don’t shame them for needing to stim in the first place.
What Supporting Stimming Actually Looks Like
Supporting someone’s stimming means:
Letting them move, bounce, flap, stim without judgment
Providing tools like fidget toys, noise-canceling headphones, or stim-friendly clothing
Normalizing self-regulation instead of pathologizing it
Asking “What does your body need right now?” instead of “Can you stop doing that?”
Making sensory-friendly spaces where people don’t have to mask
We don’t need to eliminate stimming. We need to protect and respect it.
Stimming Can Be Joyful
This part gets overlooked a lot. Stimming isn’t just about calming down or avoiding meltdown. Sometimes it’s just joy. Pure, unfiltered joy.
You know that feeling when your favorite song comes on and you can’t help but bounce? Or when you see something cute and your whole body wiggles with excitement? That’s stimming too. That’s your body saying “hell yeah” in movement.
Let people have their joy. Let people stim because life is overwhelming, beautiful, complicated, or just too much sometimes.
Final Thoughts
Stimming is not the enemy. It’s a form of expression, regulation, and self-care. This isn’t something we need to suppress or fix. More like we need to understand, support, and make room for it.
If you stim, you are not broken. Your brain and body are doing what they need to do to help you function. And if you’ve spent years hiding or being ashamed of it, just know: you’re allowed to reclaim that part of yourself.
So stim proudly. Tap your fingers, bounce your legs, flap your hands. This world is overwhelming sometimes. You’re allowed to move through it in the way that helps you feel steady.
