Why Avoidance Makes OCD Stronger
Avoidance feels good in the moment. It gives you that sweet, sweet relief from anxiety. You dodge the trigger, and boom! Instant calm. Your brain sighs in relief and thinks, “Nice, that worked. Let’s keep doing that.”
But if you’re dealing with OCD, that “relief” is a trap. Avoidance doesn’t solve the problem. It feeds the monster. The more you avoid, the more OCD grows.
Let’s dig into why that happens, how avoidance shows up in sneaky ways, and what we can do instead.
The Short-Term Win That Leads to a Long-Term Problem
Avoidance feels helpful at first. If something makes you anxious, of course you don’t want to face it. That's a basic survival instinct. Your brain thinks it’s protecting you. But with OCD, the brain is overestimating the threat. It’s sounding the alarm about something that isn’t actually dangerous. And every time you avoid the thing, you reinforce the lie that it was dangerous and needed to be avoided.
This keeps the fear alive.
Let’s say you have contamination OCD. You touch a doorknob and immediately feel gross. Your brain screams “Germs!” So you avoid touching doorknobs from now on. You start using your sleeve or your elbow. You even avoid public places entirely.
Your anxiety might go down in the moment, but your brain never gets a chance to learn that touching a doorknob doesn’t actually lead to illness. You’ve traded short-term comfort for long-term anxiety.
Avoidance Is a Compulsion, Too
People usually think of compulsions as something you do: washing hands, checking locks, or mentally reviewing something a hundred times.
But not doing something can also be a compulsion. Avoiding eye contact, skipping events, steering conversations away from certain topics, avoiding a person or place that triggers a doubt… those are all compulsions if you’re doing them to escape anxiety.
Avoidance is a response to obsessional doubt, just like any other compulsion. And just like other compulsions, it keeps the cycle going.
Common Examples of OCD Avoidance
Avoidance can be really obvious, or it can be incredibly subtle. Here are a few examples across different types of OCD:
Contamination OCD:
Avoiding shaking hands or hugging people
Skipping the gym because of shared equipment
Refusing to eat food prepared by others
Relationship OCD (ROCD):
Avoiding romantic dates because you don’t want to be “triggered”
Not watching rom-coms in case you start comparing your relationship
Pulling away from your partner when you feel doubt
Sexual Orientation OCD or Harm OCD:
Avoiding certain TV shows or social settings
Not going to the gym because you might look at someone “the wrong way”
Staying away from kids or pets due to fear of having an intrusive thought
Moral or Religious OCD (Scrupulosity):
Avoiding media with violence or sexuality
Not going to religious services because you fear being “impure”
Avoiding conversations that might spark moral dilemmas
Why Avoidance Feels So Convincing
Avoidance feels logical. It sounds like, “I’m just being cautious” or “Better safe than sorry.” And sure, caution has its place in life. But OCD twists that logic. It convinces you that even the most remote possibility is a threat you need to react to.
You end up living life through the lens of “What if…?”
What if I make someone sick?
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if I regret it later?
And since you never test the fear, you never disprove the “what if.” Your brain doesn’t get a chance to learn what’s actually safe or reasonable.
OCD thrives in uncertainty, and avoidance hands it the mic.
So What Do You Do Instead?
Exposure.
I know, I know. It sounds horrible, but hear me out.
Doing the opposite of avoidance is how you retrain your brain. It’s how you teach it that the fear was never as dangerous as it felt. And yes, it’ll feel uncomfortable at first. That’s okay. Discomfort isn’t dangerous.
Start small. If you usually avoid a trigger completely, just approach it for a few seconds. Or think about it intentionally instead of pushing it away. With practice, your brain starts to calm down.
This is the core of ERP: Exposure and Response Prevention. You face the thing you fear, and you don’t do the thing your brain says will make it better (like avoiding it or doing a compulsion). And that changes the whole system.
Avoidance Is Also Exhausting
People think of avoidance like it’s easy, but it’s not. It’s mentally exhausting. You’re constantly scanning your environment for threats. You’re always trying to dodge the next trigger. Your life gets smaller and smaller.
And it fucking sucks.
You start missing out on things you care about. Relationships get harder. Work gets harder. Just existing gets harder. OCD promises safety, but it ends up stealing your freedom.
Final Thoughts
Avoidance isn’t weakness. It’s a survival strategy your brain picked up to manage overwhelming fear. But if you’re reading this, you’re probably realizing that it’s not actually working anymore. Avoidance is a short-term fix with a long-term cost. It feeds OCD. It strengthens the doubt. It keeps you stuck.
Recovery comes from doing the hard thing. From showing your brain that the world isn’t as dangerous as OCD makes it seem. From choosing life and connection over control and fear. You don’t have to be fearless. You just have to be willing to take the next step.
Even if your brain screams “What if?” you get to choose to live anyway. That’s how you get your life back.
