Executive Dysfunction Is Like Being Stuck on the Character Creation Screen
If you’ve ever stared at your to-do list for an hour, accomplished absolutely nothing, and then gone down a rabbit hole of self-loathing and existential dread... hi. You might be dealing with executive dysfunction. And if you're neurodivergent, especially if you have ADHD or autism, it's likely something you're all too familiar with.
But let’s talk about it in a way that actually makes sense because “executive dysfunction” sounds like something out of a boardroom, not a brain. Basically, it’s like being stuck on the character creation screen in a video game.
You know what I mean. You’ve got the whole game waiting to be played. Quests to complete. Goals to chase. Dragons to slay. But you’re frozen in what is supposed to just be the first five minutes, toggling between hairstyle options and agonizing over whether your armor should be red or black. (Spoiler: it doesn’t matter. You’re still not getting past the intro screen today.)
So What Is Executive Dysfunction, Actually?
Executive functioning is a set of cognitive skills that help you get shit done. It’s your brain’s management system. This includes things like:
Starting tasks
Organizing your thoughts
Managing time
Shifting between ideas
Prioritizing steps
Regulating emotions
When those skills don’t work properly, you get executive dysfunction. The part of your brain in charge of “doing the thing” has basically rage-quit and ghosted you.
And you’re left staring at the same blinking cursor. Again.
Okay, But Why the Character Creation Metaphor?
Because it’s the perfect way to explain how executive dysfunction feels… and because I am nerdy as fuck.
You’ve got this big open world of your life. You’ve got responsibilities, goals, maybe even things you’re excited about. But something simple, like picking a shirt, or figuring out where to start, or deciding what’s most important, just halts you completely.
You’re not even in the game yet. You’re just stuck on the pre-game screen, tweaking settings and looping in indecision. It’s frustrating as hell. Especially when everyone else seems to have already leveled up five times and is halfway through the next dungeon.
It’s Not About Motivation
Executive dysfunction is not a motivation problem. It’s not a “just try harder” issue.
You probably want to do the thing. You might even be screaming at yourself to do the thing. But your brain feels like it’s buffering, and no amount of yelling makes it move faster.
This is especially cruel because people around you may not understand. They’ll say stuff like:
“Why don’t you just start?”
“It’s not that hard.”
“You’re just being lazy.”
None of that helps! It just makes you feel worse. Because believe me, you’ve tried “just starting.” It didn’t work!
Examples That Might Feel Familiar
Here’s what executive dysfunction might actually look like:
You have a million ideas but can’t choose which one to follow.
You get stuck trying to plan the perfect way to do something and never actually do it.
You hyperfocus on one tiny, unimportant detail while everything else falls apart.
You forget a simple step in a task and then shut down completely.
You avoid things not because you don’t care, but because the mental load of starting feels physically impossible.
All of these are real and valid. None of them mean you’re broken.
What Can Help?
Here’s the good news: even if executive dysfunction is part of how your brain works, there are tools that can help you manage it.
1. Break It Down
Big tasks are overwhelming. Break things down into absurdly small steps. Not “do laundry” but “walk to the hamper.” Then “put clothes in a basket.” Then “carry basket to the washing machine.”
Yes, it feels ridiculous. But it works.
2. Use External Structure
Your brain might not be great at internal organization. That’s okay. Use planners, timers, whiteboards, sticky notes, alarms, or apps. Offload as much mental effort as possible.
Set reminders like “start email” or “open the doc.” Don’t rely on your brain to remember all the steps.
3. Create Momentum
Sometimes doing any task (even unrelated) gets your brain moving. Do something low-stakes. Wipe a single counter. Brush your teeth, even if it is only for 30 seconds. Pet your dog. Let that movement carry you forward.
4. Remove Shame
You are not a failure for having executive dysfunction. You are not weak. You are not lazy. Your brain works differently. You have to work differently with it.
You can still kick ass at life, you just might have to do it a little sideways.
Final Thoughts
Executive dysfunction is a total asshole, but it’s not unbeatable. It’s a part of how some brains work, and it doesn’t say a damn thing about your character or worth. So if you’re stuck on the character creation screen right now, I see you and I’ve been there. Sometimes I’m still there, staring at the choices and wondering why I can’t just hit “start.” We just have to find your unique cheat codes.
