OCD Isn’t Just What Social Media Tells Us

If you spend any time on social media, you’ve probably seen OCD portrayed as someone who color-codes their pantry, loves organizing things, or can’t stand when their bedspread has a wrinkle in it. And while that might be someone’s personal preference or even a small part of their OCD, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

OCD is often invisible. It lives in mental loops, constant questioning, guilt, shame, and fear of being a bad person. It’s not all about cleaning or lining things up just right. In fact, some of the most distressing forms of OCD are the ones that never get seen at all.

Let’s talk about what OCD really is, how it shows up in ways that are often misunderstood or completely missed, and why it matters that we get it right.

What OCD Really Is

At its core, OCD is made up of two main parts:

• Obsessions: unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that cause distress

• Compulsions: actions (physical or mental) done to relieve that distress or prevent something bad from happening

These cycles are fueled by doubt and the need for certainty. OCD doesn’t trust that things are okay unless they are just right or proven beyond any possible doubt. That’s why people get stuck. No amount of reassurance is ever enough. No amount of checking brings lasting relief.

The Classic Examples: What People Expect

When people think of OCD, they often imagine:

• Washing hands repeatedly to avoid germs

• Checking the stove or locks over and over

• Avoiding cracks in the sidewalk

• Doing things in even numbers

• Lining things up perfectly or needing symmetry

These are all valid forms of OCD. They involve obsessions (fear of contamination, fear of harm, fear of imperfection) and compulsions (washing, checking, ordering). They’re just more visible.

But OCD doesn’t stop there. It doesn’t have to be about physical rituals or visible behavior. For a lot of people, the compulsions are internal. That’s where things get trickier.

The Hidden Side of OCD

Let’s look at a few lesser-known but incredibly common subtypes that don’t get enough attention.

1. Pure O (Primarily Obsessional OCD)

"Pure O" is short for "purely obsessional," though the name is a bit misleading. People with Pure O do have compulsions, but they tend to be mental rather than physical. That’s why it often gets missed.

Examples of Pure O themes:

• Harm OCD: What if I snap and hurt someone?

• Sexual Orientation OCD: What if I’m secretly gay or straight and don’t know it?

• Religious or Scrupulosity OCD: What if I offended God or sinned without knowing?

• Pedophilia OCD: What if I looked at a kid wrong and that means something about me?

These thoughts are incredibly distressing because they feel like they strike at the core of who you are. People often suffer silently, thinking they’re terrible for having the thought in the first place.

Mental compulsions might look like:

• Replaying a memory to check if something was inappropriate

• Mentally comparing your reaction to other situations

• Trying to “prove” to yourself that you would never do that thing

• Avoiding situations that might trigger the thought

But here’s the thing: thoughts are just thoughts. Having an intrusive thought doesn’t mean anything about who you are. OCD latches onto the things you care most about and throws doubt right at them.

2. Relationship OCD (R-OCD)

Relationship OCD involves intrusive doubts and compulsions related to romantic relationships. It might sound like:

• What if I don’t really love my partner?

• What if they aren’t the one?

• What if I made a mistake and should be with someone else?

• What if they’re not attractive enough or smart enough?

Even in loving relationships, these doubts feel overwhelming. OCD makes you question everything. You might:

• Mentally compare your partner to others

• Repeatedly seek reassurance from friends or your partner

• Analyze your feelings constantly

• Avoid romantic situations out of guilt or confusion

This doesn’t mean your relationship is broken. It means your brain is caught in the OCD loop and trying to find certainty in a place where certainty doesn’t exist.

3. Internal Checking Behaviors

Internal checking is exactly what it sounds like: mentally checking over your own thoughts, feelings, or intentions to make sure everything is "okay."

It can include:

• Reviewing what you said in a conversation to make sure you didn’t offend anyone

• Monitoring your body sensations to see if you feel aroused, anxious, or uncomfortable

• Analyzing whether you feel the "right" emotion in a certain situation

• Repeating certain phrases or prayers in your head to neutralize a thought

These behaviors aren’t visible to anyone else, but they are just as exhausting. And just like physical compulsions, they make OCD stronger over time.

Social Media Gets It Wrong

Social media often focuses on the most obvious or even aesthetic parts of OCD. Clean houses. Perfect routines. Cute checklists. But that’s not the reality for most people with OCD.

In fact, a lot of people with OCD:

• Feel deeply ashamed of their thoughts

• Hide their compulsions because they seem "weird"

• Doubt whether they even have OCD because it doesn’t look like the stereotype

This misinformation can delay diagnosis, keep people suffering in silence, and make folks afraid to reach out for help.

You’re Not Alone

If you’ve read this far and something resonated with you, please know that you are not alone. So many people live with OCD that doesn’t match the version we see online, myself included. And there is help.

OCD is about how your brain responds to thoughts. That means the theme of your OCD doesn’t need to be addressed content-wise. Instead, treatment like I-CBT or ERP helps you shift your relationship to those thoughts so they don’t run your life.

You can learn to:

• Recognize when OCD is showing up

• Resist the urge to check, ruminate, or seek reassurance

• Tolerate uncertainty and let thoughts be thoughts

• Rebuild trust in yourself

Final Thoughts

OCD isn’t just about cleaning, ordering, or lining things up. There is doubt, fear, and the desperate need for certainty. It can latch onto anything you care about… your identity, your relationships, your safety, your values.

So if you’ve been quietly battling thoughts that feel scary or wrong, or stuck in mental loops trying to find the "right" answer, you’re not weird. You’re not broken. And you don’t have to keep doing it alone.